I would look like this.
I have always been "bigger" than the other girls. I was taller than my classmates and once I hit puberty I had all the right curves in all the right places.
As I got older I was never one for physical activity. I did play basketball for a few years in upper elementary but once I got to middle school I chose going to church over playing basketball. I would be a completely different person if I had played basketball all of my life, but I'm happy with who I am now. I'm not going to think of an alternate time line.
When I say "Happy" I mean that I'm getting there. More and more when I look in the mirror I think "I look really pretty" rather than "I look ok. But my tummy is poking out." I know that I have a belly. I know that. I know that my thighs touch. I know that I have jiggly arm fat. And I'm not necessarily ok with it but I have accepted it. And I do want to work on getting rid of it.
I am working on eating better and controlling my portions. Having some sort of veggie or fruit with meals.
I'm planning on actually going to the gym this year. Like, regular gym time. I need to find a gym buddy. And I'm going to do yoga with a friend at 6 am. She wants to do it every morning, I may not do that, not at first anyway. But I'll do it.
I am going to be a senior this year. And that means big changes. So why not have big changes happen with my body too?
I have had an idea for a project floating in the back of my brain. A beauty project of sorts. Finding true beauty. Beneath the makeup and clothes. Just loving who you are and knowing that you truly are beautiful when you have a lazy day in your jammies and gross hair.
This has been a project for me. I've been working on finding myself to be beautiful. So the above statement, where I look in the mirror and think "I'm pretty today" is a big step for me.
I never thought that I would want a tattoo but lately I've been thinking about getting one. It would be on the inside of my left wrist and all it would say is "beauty" in black cursive. It means a lot to me and it would help to remind me to find my true beauty. And as a teacher I could use it to remind my young students to think of themselves as beautiful.
I'm still thinking about it. I may ask some friends about it and see what they think...
I'll keep you updated!
Did I Go To The Gym Today?: No. I'll get into it starting Monday. It will be easier then. I promise it's not just an excuse!
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” ~Matthew 6: 33-34